Al is coming to take my job and all the jobs. That’s what I hear. I’ve heard about Al a lot in the news lately. Every day, there are new articles, which feel like they are generated automatically, appearing across a wide variety of media outlets.
In addition, a lot of people tell me first-hand they are worried about Al taking their job. Not me. I’m a writer AND a graphic designer, so I’m safe. Absolutely golden.
I’m not sure why Al has so many people worried. I mean, how much damage can one guy do? How many jobs can one guy take? What’s he going to do, pull a triple-shift and work weekends?
I don’t know who this Al fella is, but if he thinks he’s going to rob me of my economic livelihood, he’s got another thing coming.
Linda McMahon, the highly esteemed Secretary of Education–by way of professional wrestling, naturally–recently mixed up Al with A1. What a moronic flub! Get it right! It’s not A1, it’s Al. As in Big Al, or Little Al, if that’s the case. I don’t know, I’ve never seen him. Therein lies part of the problem–I don’t know what he physically looks like. I think he’s ducking me. There used to be a time when he and I would take it out to the street to settle our differences, like real men.
You think you’re going to take my job, you sneaky bastard? I’ve got news for you, Al. I’m going to take your job! I’m going to find your workplace, talk to your manager, and offer to work more hours for less pay. You don’t stand a chance. You’re going down, way before I am.
I’m coming after your job, Al. And just when you least expect it, EXPECT IT!
Tom's Lead Balloon of Writing 
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