Help with Chips in Bowl

I still get derisively reminded about this pathetic incident, and rightfully so. It also, unfortunately, serves as a really good metaphor for my literal-mindedness.

Several years ago, on an otherwise glorious Super Bowl Sunday, my wife and I were setting up the house in anticipation of guests arriving for our annual Super Bowl party. Among other simple requests, my wife asked me to put a bag of chips in a bowl. As a dutiful husband, I did.

What I actually did, I should clarify, is place an unopened bag of chips upright in the designated bowl. Using a strict interpretation of the request, I did what I was told.

A few moments later, my wife passed by and saw the result of my effort. I think her heart dropped and her soul died a little. 

With heavy resignation, she says, “I can’t believe I have to tell you to open the bag and pour the chips into the bowl.” I looked at the still life, realized my mistake, and gave a pitiful self-defense (with attitude): “But you told me to put the chips in the bowl.” What a winner.

Be thankful, kind reader, that you don’t rely on me for help. On one hand, I do what I’m told. On the other, I do EXACTLY what I’m told. For any given task, my “help” can actually be helpful and appreciated or it can be bewildering and exasperating. As you may have presumed, this crapshoot gets old very quickly.